She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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