i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
