guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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