I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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