he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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