my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
