Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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