I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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