I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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