please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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