Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
