im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
