dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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