it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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