if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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