im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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