Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
