worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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