im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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