More tranny stories later!
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
