conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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