You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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