my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
