what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
