It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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