I feel great
I just peed on a car
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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