dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
