how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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