better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
