i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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