Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
