she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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