put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
