At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
