I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
How naked do you want me to be?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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