Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
