youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
