now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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