This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
