I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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