My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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