my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
