2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Randomize
