oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My boob is missing a layer of skin
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
