Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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