very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
