@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
