So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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