could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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