The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm at about main and main street
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
