Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize