yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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