Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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