are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
