is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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