So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize