i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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