well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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