Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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