I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
smell my finger.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
