I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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