But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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