Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
