I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
